Second Part to my Body Language and You blog series. So here it goes,
Hello Internet Universe!
Before I tell you anything about how to spot a liar (from a roommate that you can quite understand, a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, or boss etc) I want to tell you this. Not all signs work for everyone. You have to take into account some people are just awkward (and I’m one of them so no one get mad at me if you consider yourself a little awkward too, ok? haha). You have to take into account people’s normal behavior and take the signs. But also keep this in mind as well, one little gesture can mean so many things. So this is where the essence of nonverbal communication comes into play. You must think about the context and how it pairs with their body plus also how they normally act.
First sign you must keep in mind is reading if the person is comfortable or not with you in general and in the conversation you’re trying to hold. First step in reading someone at any time is to check to see how comfortable they are. Then after that is shown, move onto the rest of the steps.
Stiff Upper Body – Indicator One – People are great at telling lies, but their bodies aren’t and those that know this will be overcompensating with their actions to prevent other signs of lying such as fidgeting. People, normally, will move from time to time while in a conversation so when someone is refusing to move, may be a sign. But don’t use just this to indicate a liar. The person could just be chilly and trying to heat up their core temperature. You must have other signs to be able to tell as well.
Like eye contact. Everything boils down to eye contact. Too little, too much, none at all. Are all signs that someone is lying. Eyes are the windows to the soul and that’s why they won’t show them to you. Also an indicator is if they turn their head to the side or look to the left slightly.
Lastly, keep an eye out for context and the behaviors paired with it. If someone is uncomfortable they often rub their neck or eyes and look away. But also think about someone giving you too much information and detail. Those who are lying or exaggerating will offer a lot of detail after they buy some time by simply answering you with a question. They also like to play the “Whodunnit” game and trying to offer a “real culprit or offender”. All of this offers the sweet spot of untrustworthy behavior.
Keep in mind that some people are just awkward so unless you have more than just a couple little indicators, just shrug it off. Consistency between lying and telling the truth will help you with that one person but won’t necessarily work on all people as a whole.
There’s the basics on tall tale signs of a liar or exaggerator.
Have fun y’all!